When Gunther was a puppy, I was his greatest influence because he was with me the most (basically all the time, he stayed at grandma’s occasionally). Gunther was never scared of loud noises, gunshots, fireworks, it seemed like he didn’t even hear them. Not a blink or ear prick.

When he was about two, I moved into a new home with a small dog named Bonze. Bonze is on my Instagram if you’re curious who he is. Bonze is terrified of loud noises. He hides, quivers and freezes at the actual noise. At the beginning of this summer in June, Gunther was spending a lot of time with bonze. He also adores bonze’s father, jack. Jack takes the boys on evening, neighborhood walks. (yes, Gunther hikes, but he loves with his sweet, leisurely walks with his uncle. ) over this summer, Gunther thought his pals were very cool, and hung out with them a lot. It made me a little sad but i thought that’s just part of growing up, hanging with the boys and leaving mom behind. As time went on, i noticed that Gunther was starting to be bothered by loud noises. It got so bad, he would quiver, and even try to climb into my partner’s lap. Gunther is close to 70 pounds. It was like he wanted to be swaddled, covered, smothered out of hearing the noise. I thought to myself I can’t let him live like this. I added the thunder shirt to my chewy cart. But I thought, let me see if i can influence him into not being scared again, before I accept our fate of having a fearful dog.

So upon hearing a bang, I would make sure he was not near bonze and instead alone in my room with me. I would engage in something else, sewing, doing my nails, something quiet and consuming. We would hear a bang and i would act like i didn’t hear it. If he tried to crawl into my lap, I would acknowledge him but block him from clawing his way into my lap. It was painful to deny him. I’d ask him to lay next to me, and eventually he would fall asleep. I did this for about a week for his major symptoms to subside. In that time it got down to where he would hear a noise and look at me, I could feel his stare but I would not look at him because I knew my acknowledgment would serve to confirm his fear, and put his head back down and go back to sleep. At the end of the summer now, he’s back to being unfazed. I’m not saying this will work for everyone.

Gunther has always been easily influenced, I have about a dozen examples that I’ve noticed; I’m sure there are more. This is just the most extreme example to date that I’m conscious of. I recognize i have this influence because of the privilege I had of raising him. It is the definition of tough love in my opinion. We have to go trough the pain of discomfort together in order to gain liberation from fear.

A few more examples of influence

1. Gunther is scared of bugs because I freak out at bugs. I think he actually has nightmares about them.

2. Whenever he is hanging out with our bunny, opal, he eats grass with her.

3. I used to sit in front of a space heater in the winter a lot, like during dinner or doing my nails. Gunther’s best friend as a baby was a space heater. He would lay in front of it and mumble and bark at it like it was another puppy. He would paw it and fall asleep by it. (he had lots of real dog friends. )

4. As a puppy, I free fed him, but he only ate and drank when I did. Because of lifestyle changes, I had to eventually stop free feeding him. But he continues to copy my habit of not drinking water all day, and then drinking half a gallon.

5. Gunther grew up on a horse ranch, but never ate horse poop until he started hiking and watched dogs at fort funston eat it. 6. He also learned to chase birds from a pair of vizsla brothers, totally copying their style.

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